“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” – Charles Bukowski
Self-love
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.
For many people, the concept of self-love is an overblown theory and they often ignore its importance. People aspire to be perfect and perfectionism is considered a greater asset or attribute than self-love. When we talk about self-love, it is easy to picture someone reading self-help books or hugging a tree; but self-love is much more than that. Many studies have shown that self-love is the key to mental well-being and keeps depression and anxiety at bay.
Modern society is shaped in a way that people compete against each other, and even against themselves. We are always trying to reach our short-term goals and trying to better ourselves to match the expectations set upon us by society. The focus is on doing, and not being. We have become human doings and not human beings.
Many of us work long hours and get less sleep each night; we travel the extra mile and feel content that we have achieved perfectionism. We grind in and out every week; even during the weekend ‘relaxing’ and ‘having a good time’ seems like a chore. As a consequence, we end up being too hard on ourselves all too often without even realizing it. All we need to do is love ourselves and let the negative things pass through; eventually, things will change and bad times will pass.
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness” – Robert Marley
The less we love, listen, and understand ourselves, the more confused, upset, and frustrated we will be in life. When we begin to understand ourselves, things become better in every way possible. When we genuinely love ourselves, we create a mindset of acceptance.
We become willing to accept our life stages and situations and take responsibility for our actions. We also recognize where love, happiness, passion, and authenticity come from. When we acknowledge the power, we hold over our lives, we become satisfied with how we live.
Impact of Low Self-love among Children and Adolescents
Lack of self-love is especially seen in teenagers these days, causing relationship troubles or difficulty making friends, negative moods such as feeling sad, anxious, ashamed, or angry, low motivation, poor body image, earlier sexual engagements, drinking alcohol, and/or taking drugs to feel better.
It is commonly seen that most people, whether they are adults or teenagers, do not appreciate themselves, they always focus on their negative side and do not have any faith in self-love. This is a very common problem and needs to be cured. It is very important for one to learn how to love and appreciate oneself as it allows the person to try new things, take healthy risks and solve problems. In turn, learning and development become productive and set one up for a healthy and positive future.
Ways to Practice Self-love
- Avoid negative self-talk
- Create personal rituals to practice self-care
- Set healthy boundaries with people around us to cater to our wellbeing
- Be compassionate towards oneself the way we would be towards an infant or a best friend.
- Take out time for introspection and reflection
Benefits of Self Love
Self-love has many benefits; the first benefit is greater life satisfaction. When we love ourselves more we instantly change our perspective of the world. Self-love can give us a more positive attitude toward life.
The second benefit of self-love is that it can encourage us to pick up good habits. Self-love means loving your body, soul, and mind. Therefore, people who love themselves often refrain from doing things that will have an impact on their tranquillity. It can help us adopt healthy habits.
Loving oneself provides one with self-confidence, self-worth, and in general, feeling more positivity. If we can learn to love ourselves, we will feel happier and will learn to take better care of ourselves.
Here are some of the evidence-based benefits of self-love, or self-positivity:
- Better mental health
- More self-acceptance
- Higher self-esteem
- More Motivation
- Stronger determination
- Increased self-awareness
- Less anxiety
- Better sleep
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
If we start loving our body and mind more than others, we will engage in activities that relax our minds. People who love themselves are less likely to suffer from anxiety or depression; self-love also paves the way to a positive mindset which is an essential ingredient for success in life and for mental well-being. Learning to love ourselves also reduces stress, lessens procrastination, and makes us more focused at work.